February Blues
As February rolls around each year, while others post on social media about how much fun they’re having enjoying the outdoors; be it skiing, snowmobiling or building snowmen, I think, just kill me. Please let spring come soon. Throughout the winter, I struggle with a vague despondency, but in December, the holidays keep me occupied and excited, and in January, there is still the warmth of the holiday season just past. Then comes February, bleak gray days, freezing cold weather and crappy driving conditions which send me into a hopeless state that lasts right until the first spring flower blooms in March.
As the month drags on, I seem to have less energy and desire to do much of anything. Everything requires extra effort—going to the gym, walking the dog, concentrating on projects and even doing the simplest of chores. Although an early riser I find myself sleeping later and later, and once I’m up, I find it difficult to stay awake. I have endless thoughts that are dismal and depressing. I think about life and death way too much, about war and terrorism and the collective failings of mankind. I worry about my financial future and health, about the health and well-being of those I love. It seems as though everything in our world is going to hell.
I call this winter depression and I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, over the years my doctor has suggested taking antidepressants and while I know they can be very effective and life-giving to people who have more serious, prolonged periods of depression, I want to avoid medication if I can. While I may one day change my mind, I believe that, for me, for now, the better choice is to ride out the winter months, knowing that come mid-March, I will rise from bed one morning, instantly and inexplicably invigorated.
Depression of any kind is a terrible illness and not only affects you but all those around you. It is time for change, no more feeling sorry for ourselves, it’s time to take the bull by the horns and fight back, if not for yourself, then for all those around you.
